Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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