you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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