with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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