Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
