My Higher Power is John Stamos
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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