You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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