she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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