apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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