She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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