the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
