Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
