Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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