So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
