i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
