is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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