I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
