he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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