I'm so fucking centered right now
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
