White coat. Heels.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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