I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
