I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
