It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
