I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Are we still banned from the library?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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