I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
