who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
