i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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