It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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