His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
