oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We left the knife in your bed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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