trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
