sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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