God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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