I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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