I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
