this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
