It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
