Cold hands, warm shart.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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