When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
