The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
