That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
