Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
