"it" just moved
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
