Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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