forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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