We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
