I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
