worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
