He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
