I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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