weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
tell me about the fingering
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