i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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