If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
