you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
